“God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.” Psalms 46:5 (NIV)
I was at a conference once. We broke off into smaller groups. The speaker suddenly put me on the spot. “What do you like about yourself?” I wasn’t exactly my biggest fan. I didn’t even know what to say! I never gave that question much thought. Was this a trick question? I did that awkward thing where you point to yourself while looking around hoping it isn’t really you being called on. Unsure, I said the first thing that popped into my head, “My toes?” Looking down at my unpolished toes that honestly are not cute AT ALL I quickly hid them under my seat wondering why I chose to wear flip flops that day. I immediately felt my face turn a shade of hot Cheeto. Why hot cheeto? My face was on fire. Everyone stared at me. Some smiled awkwardly. Others looked confused. The speaker excitedly declared “that’s a start.” She went on to say, “you gotta start somewhere. Raise your hand if you too like your toes?” She chuckled. Maybe one person raised their hand. I wanted to run to Australia. As embarrassed as I was I went home with one question on my mind. A question that changed my life forever. What do I like about myself? That question was daunting and difficult to answer. I didn’t even know until that moment that it was even ok to like yourself.
Recently while Looking back on this moment in life I realized I had become the person who I dreaded seeing each day. I was the person I wanted to run the opposite way from when spotting in the hallway. I had become the individual who pointed out every negative flaw. I was the person who had nothing good to say. I was this person not to others but to myself. I realized I was so mean to me. I wasn’t my biggest cheerleader. I had become my biggest bully. I realized “Im a mean girl.”
There are many mean girls reading this post right now. No! You would never even think about being mean to others. You would never call someone else ugly. You would never tell another person that they have no purpose. You would never stop someone on the street and say “no one will ever love you.” You wouldn’t sit your best friend down explaining that it’s too late for them to accomplish that dream. Would you? Yet! You look in the mirror each day and you say these things to yourself. You call yourself ugly. You say your body is not what it should be. You tell yourself you’re behind in life. You think to yourself “I have no purpose.” You let yourself believe that you are a failure as a mother. That you don’t measure up at work. That you have reached the end. That no one could ever love you. That you’ve made too many mistakes. Should I go on?
My point? We all have a inner mean girl. Years ago, at the conference If the speaker would have asked me to tell her something I dislike about myself I could have written her a book. To be honest I feel like it’s almost like we wear a badge of honor if we can top everyone else on why we suck at life. I had to work hard and I still have to work hard to view myself in a healthy way. Some days are more of a struggle then others. I hope to one day have the courage to share the entire story of God’s healing on my journey of choosing to love myself.
That mean girl voice will not just silence itself. We have to work to keep it silent.
It’s time we silence our inner mean girl!
3 ways to SILENCE our inner mean girl::
1 Kill her with kindness!
I decided this year I’m going to write down 365 things I love about me. Why not? Right? I want to challenge you to do the same. No wrong answers. Go for it! Tell me a few in the comments. Brag on yourself. Go all out.
2 Pray for her!
I spend a lot of time praying for others. I dont always pray for myself. One way to show that inner mean girl your worth is to spend time praying for you. Pray for your dreams, your fears your disappointments. Pray for you. When you feel that inner mean girl creeping up in your thoughts pray her away.
3 Locate scripture that proves her wrong!
I could give you the scriptures but where is the fun in that? Loving yourself, silencing your inner mean girl, discovering your worth takes work. So, get to work. Find scriptures that remind you who He created you to be and how much HE LOVES YOU! Make a list of ten scriptures that help you when you feel your inner mean girl is coming out to fight you. Put your list of scriptures somewhere you will see often. One of my favorite scriptures that encourages me to shut my inner mean girl up is Romans 5:8.
“But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” Romans 5:8 (NLT)
I love this scripture because it reminds me that when I was at my darkest (before I knew Him) he still loved me. I know that no matter what I go through He is there ready to take my hand and walk me through it. He loves me so much that He will never give up on me.
Maybe there is something you need to change in your life. There might be something you don’t like and you know it can be better. Your inner mean girl is feeding you lies about your lack of ability to change and so on but God has other words for you. Words of Hope. “Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But withGod everything is possible.” Matthew 19:26 (NLT) Be willing to ask God to help you change what can be changed. However, be willing to change, walk away and not continue letting your inner mean girl beat you up over it. There is a difference between your inner mean girl beating up on you and the voice of God prompting you to choose a different route in life. One is mean and one is love. Choose love.
Wellâ€¦ what is it? What do you like about yourself! My prayer is that this month you will be able to answer that question confidently. Its ok to lIke yourself.
Joyce Myers puts it best, “Liking yourself doesn’t mean you’re full of pride; it simply means you accept yourself as the person God created you to be.” No longer be the person you run away from in the hall. Don’t continue disliking the person staring back at you in the mirror. Choose love for yourself. Choose to silence your inner mean girl. You are worth breaking free from her.