Deflated Love!
“The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” Lamentations 3:22-23
I walked into the kitchen this morning to Ellie’s birthday balloons deflated on the kitchen floor. I sat at the kitchen table for a moment just staring.I watched the emptiness in each balloon. For a moment everything stood still. Then I felt these words in my heart.
“ My love never runs out.”
These words took me back to my senior year in high school. It was a storm to say the least. I missed the better first half of it while on bed rest after having a major spinal surgery. Honestly, I didn’t feel I had any friends who missed me being at school. I was lonely. I was broken. I was lost. My step dad became my best friend at that time and I’m very thankful for that time I had with him. Still though there was something… someone else I was missing. After having surgery I slept a lot. I couldn’t eat, I was in pain and the pain medicine helped me forget about how sad I felt my life was. Looking back, part of the problem was that I was having a pity party. I wasn’t open to the love Jesus had for me therefore I couldn’t seem to silence the emptiness I felt on the inside. I’m so thankful He found me in the midst of my brokenness and still chose to shower me with all his grace, mercy and His love. The hardest part was me choosing to let Jesuslove me. It meant I had to stop looking for His love in all the wrong places. When I chose to look to Him and trust Him He took my deflated heart and began filling it with His love until it stood tall. It was far from easy but there came a moment when I could finally see that He had not only love for me but a purpose for my life.
Back to the deflated balloons just hanging out. Even in this moment when my feet have barely touched the floor my heart already begins to count all my mistakes, setbacks and flaws. It’s early in the morning, but I have already began to tell myself how I’m not worthy for this call. I don’t have what it takes to make a difference. I’m so unsure of the next step. Yet, He quiets my soul with the words “My love never runs out.” I’m reminded that I’m called not because of my qualifications but because of His love for me and I know His love is enough to see me through. As the deflated balloons lay on the kitchen floor, I’m in awe knowing that Jesus knew this would be the reminder I needed today of His love for me.
Do you know how much Jesus loves you? I know! I know! You start thinking that I don’t know how many mistakes you have made. I don’t understand how bad life is for you. I don’t get the shame and emptiness you feel. Its true! I don’t know! Let me remind you, He does! Jesus knows where you are at and He still loves you. His love is not empty! His love for you stands tall. His love offers forgiveness. His love will give you peace. His love leaves you free. His love gives you a purpose. He wants to love you. Will you let Him. I hope that this serves as a simple reminder that unlike Ellie’s deflated balloons still taking up space on the kitchen floor God’s love for us will never run out.