Daddy’s House

Daddy’s House!

Daddy’s house 

What a mess

 filled with lonely clutter 

No sign of others. 


Coke cans by the dozen 

tossed by the oven.

 A mouth full of popcorn

 eyes peeled on the television. 

Grease covered countertops

dripping on the floor 

an unknown oder 

seeping through the cracks of the front door. 


Dirty clothes on his sheetless bed 

his mattress covered in unknown marks

Late at night he could be heard

Talking to the voices in the dark. 


Quarters upon quarters 

stacked in perfect order 

telling a story that brings 

him peace and comfort. 


Bills and mail thrown all around. 

Dozens of  notebooks

 filled with numbers 

his brain forces him to write down. 

AND YET


The memory and the joy

 of hanging out 

in daddy’s house

 brings a smile 

no mess will ever take away. 

Slowly daddy begins to fade

As he sits in his new home

Clean sheets on his bed

no Odor around

Pictures on his walls

his friends around the corner are found. 

He’s moment by moment fading away 

The time will come when he forgets my face

But I won’t forget 

the walks

 the movies

 the games. 

I won’t forget 

The memories shared 

Long ago 

In daddy’s house.

Worth The Drive

Before my dad began to decline with Parkinson’s disease and Dementia he would drive from Springfield to Dallas all the time just to have breakfast with us at IHOP. He never stayed long at all. He would leave in the middle of the night and show up to meet us around 8am. Then after we ate and talked for a while he would get in his truck and drive all the way back. He never really stayed overnight. I thought he was crazy. Just stay the night and start fresh in the morning, right? Nope! He just wanted to get home. He always said “y’all are worth the drive.”

We left early this morning to go visit him in the nursing home. We never really know when he will decline rapidly and not recognize us or just be a body in a wheelchair. He is in a wheelchair because his lack of mobility is making him a fall risk. I’m not scared knowing he is going to die. We will all die. I know he will be with Jesus in heaven and that is all the peace I need. The part that hurts the most is watching him suffer. I strongly hate knowing he is losing control of his body and mind. It hurts that at some point he will forget us altogether. 

This is a quick trip. Driving in today. Taking him lunch tomorrow and then saying goodbye. Dad, you are worth the drive. ❤️

We are so unworthy of the love of God. We have done nothing to deserve the Sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. However, to Jesus we are worth His sacrifice. He would sacrifice all over again. Just as my dad once drove miles and miles just to be with us, Jesus would drive and drive for you and I because to Him we are worth the drive. The love of Jesus gives me hope because one day we will all be together again with Him. 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

A Model Friend!

Jay has become really good friends with a dog named Daisy. I often find them cuddled on the couch, chasing each other around the house and hanging out in Daisy’s cage together.

Daisy is a very loyal furry friend. She is there when Jay wants to snuggle, play, wrestle or watch Spider-Man. As friendly as Daisy is, her friendship can never compare to the friend we find in Jesus. 

Jesus models the perfect characteristics of a true friend. 

He is…

  1. Faithful
  2. Compassionate 
  3. Kind,
  4. Forgiving
  5. Loving (without limits) 

The list doesn’t end at five. These are just a few of the many words we can use to describe Jesus as a friend. Most importantly, He sacrificed His life just so we could experience forgiveness and grace. 

The friends we make in life are important and we can find many characteristics of a true friend in many of them. However, no earthly friend will ever measure up to the friend Jesus is and always will be. If you haven’t made Jesus your ultimate friend by asking Him to be the center of your life, reach out. I would love to walk you through that process. 

As for the rest of us, this year when you are feeling lonely, forgotten, betrayed by “friends” remember that Jesus is still walking with you. He has never and will never walk away. Also, this year let’s all strive to be the friend Jesus has modeled for us so well. 

What characteristic would you use to describe Jesus as a friend? 

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

John 15:13

Still Working

In Elementary I sang the song “He’s still working on me” for the school talent show. I know. It’s an oldie. Little did I know, that song would follow me throughout the rest of my life. I remember,
while singing the words, looking out at all the parents and seeing smiles. One of the verses went as follows…

🎶There really ought to be
A sign upon her heart
Don’t judge her yet
There’s an unfinished part 🎶

These words struck a chord in my heart because looking back on my little defeated self I realized God was growing me in the midst of all the chaos I was facing at home. When life seemed so scary, my heart was so confused that I would cry sitting at my desk, when I sat in class frustrated because life at home was so chaotic that I couldn’t focus. He was growing My heart. No! He did not cause any of the traumas at home but He certainly used them to build me up and grow my heart for others.

Welcome to another new year. For some of us the pain of this past year is rolling over into a new year. We feel defeated, burdened, in the wrong place, purposeless and burned out. We are reading posts from everyone else who are celebrating all their victories from the past year and we are just thankful the year has ended. God is still going to grow you even in the painful season that you are in. Your future is not on hold because of the circumstances that have brought you down. 2023 is still your year to shine even when the clouds seem to hover over you and follow you everywhere.

Even with all the yuck 2022 has brought, God is still and has always been working on me and you. I don’t know what 2023 holds. I do however know that I have come out of 2022 stronger, wiser and closer to God than ever before. Knowing that God is continuing to work on me even in difficult moments, I am certain that I’ll come out even stronger after 2023.

Know this! God is still working on you. 2022 was not a waste and neither will be 2023. Challenges will come. You might have to really persevere. Each day might not always be fair. BUT… He loves you so much. No matter how broken you are, He has a plan and a purpose for you. He’s not done with you. He is still working on you!

Follow the link for the full song. It’s an oldie but it’s a good one.

Merry Christmas

Did you know that Jesus was not born into a perfect situation? He was born in a stable that was dirty, most likely very smelly and not your most sanitary environment. Gross!!! I mean seriously think about all the dirt and animal poop around! When Jesus was born so many showed up to celebrate His birth. They didn’t leave when they smelled the mix of awful smells. The donkey didn’t lay down and give up when pregnant Mary and her extra water weight got heavy. The wise men didn’t stop traveling when the journey got long. We should not stop celebrating Jesus when our journey is tough, smelly, long or heavy.

This past month I caught myself thinking … it doesn’t feel like Christmas. I believe we all have this mind set at some point in our life. This is because we often base Christmas on a feeling instead of on the one we celebrate Christmas for. When life isn’t measuring up to what we expect around Christmas time, we find ourselves in a deep hole we can’t seem to climb out of. I have found myself in that hole a time or two. If you are human I’m sure you have as well. Maybe you are sitting in that hole at this very moment. Don’t give up. You will get out.  Life is difficult and to be honest it seems life gets the most difficult around moments that are suppose to be filled with “perfection” and “joy” rather then “pain” and “traum-a”! 

I can remember several years growing up when we just didn’t celebrate. It was after my parents divorce. We didn’t celebrate because “we were too poor” to celebrate. We didn’t celebrate because of depression and mental illness in our home. We didn’t celebrate because the enemy filled our thoughts with  “it doesn’t feel like Christmas.” I guess you can say, we were celebrating for the wrong reason because when life seemed to be too tough to deal we just didn’t celebrate at all. Looking back I can see how even in difficult moments in life we should still celebrate Jesus.

This past year we have all faced a wide range of difficult moments. Moments like, loss of a loved one, relational issues, deep rejection, financial stress, uncertainty in our health, big life changes, mental illness and so on. These moments and many more, make the holidays difficult because it’s hard to celebrate when you are emotionally wounded and struggling to put one foot in front of the other. It’s hard to celebrate when you don’t have the emotional energy to muster up another fake smile or joyful words for those you pass. We are a few days from Christmas. It’s coming regardless of what trials we are facing in our life. The difficult situations surrounding us unfortunately don’t pause for Christmas. 

I’m not asking anyone to fake a smile, hide their trials or pretend all is ok. Life is hard and we need each other. I’m only asking that during this Christmas season we remember that Jesus is the reason we celebrate and our current life trials should never determine the feeling we get when Christmas is near. Christmas will always be Christmas because of Jesus and not because of what is happening around us. 

I’m so thankful that even when I face obstacles in my life one part of life is certain and that is Jesus. Jesus was born and came to save the world and because of Him I get to celebrate while trusting Him with the rest.

Merry Christmas

Did you know that Jesus was not born into a perfect situation? He was born in a stable that was dirty, most likely very smelly and not your most sanitary environment. Gross!!! I mean seriously think about all the dirt and animal poop around! When Jesus was born so many showed up to celebrate His birth. They didn’t leave when they smelled the mix of awful smells. The donkey didn’t lay down and give up when pregnant Mary and her extra water weight got heavy. The wise men didn’t stop traveling when the journey got long. We should not stop celebrating Jesus when our journey is tough, smelly, long or heavy.

This past month I caught myself thinking … it doesn’t feel like Christmas. I believe we all have this mind set at some point in our life. This is because we often base Christmas on a feeling instead of on the one we celebrate Christmas for. When life isn’t measuring up to what we expect around Christmas time, we find ourselves in a deep hole we can’t seem to climb out of. I have found myself in that hole a time or two. If you are human I’m sure you have as well. Maybe you are sitting in that hole at this very moment. Don’t give up. You will get out.  Life is difficult and to be honest it seems life gets the most difficult around moments that are suppose to be filled with “perfection” and “joy” rather then “pain” and “traum-a”! 

I can remember several years growing up when we just didn’t celebrate. It was after my parents divorce. We didn’t celebrate because “we were too poor” to celebrate. We didn’t celebrate because of depression and mental illness in our home. We didn’t celebrate because the enemy filled our thoughts with  “it doesn’t feel like Christmas.” I guess you can say, we were celebrating for the wrong reason because when life seemed to be too tough to deal we just didn’t celebrate at all. Looking back I can see how even in difficult moments in life we should still celebrate Jesus.

This past year we have all faced a wide range of difficult moments. Moments like, loss of a loved one, relational issues, deep rejection, financial stress, uncertainty in our health, big life changes, mental illness and so on. These moments and many more, make the holidays difficult because it’s hard to celebrate when you are emotionally wounded and struggling to put one foot in front of the other. It’s hard to celebrate when you don’t have the emotional energy to muster up another fake smile or joyful words for those you pass. We are a few days from Christmas. It’s coming regardless of what trials we are facing in our life. The difficult situations surrounding us unfortunately don’t pause for Christmas. 

I’m not asking anyone to fake a smile, hide their trials or pretend all is ok. Life is hard and we need each other. I’m only asking that during this Christmas season we remember that Jesus is the reason we celebrate and our current life trials should never determine the feeling we get when Christmas is near. Christmas will always be Christmas because of Jesus and not because of what is happening around us. 

I’m so thankful that even when I face obstacles in my life one part of life is certain and that is Jesus. Jesus was born and came to save the world and because of Him I get to celebrate while trusting Him with the rest.

Jammed Door!

Story time!!! If you have known me for longer then a minute you know that drama seems to follow me everywhere. Last night, I shut the door to the bedroom on Jay. I needed to go put some clothes away and he gets into everything. The bedroom was a safe place for him or so I thought. Like 5 mins later he is screaming hysterically so I go to check on him and the bedroom door was jammed. I did everything to get in through the door. It was not opening. I pretty much threw my entire body up against the door to get it open. When that didn’t happen I prayed to Jesus that the bedroom window was unlocked. I did not want to damage the door or have to call the fire department so I knew I had to find another way in. To my surprise the window was unlocked. I couldn’t reach the window well enough standing on a bucket to get through so I pull Jay out and take him inside to calm him down. I text my neighbor to borrow a ladder and crawled through the window and was able to unjam the door and get it open. Everything was fine but it was chaos, tears and a few scratches getting inside the window.

You know me! I want to find the lesson in all things. Well my neighbor sent me

This….

“Sometimes doors are shut unexpectedly and causes chaos in our lives. When that happens, you may need to search, and work, to find a new opening. You may get bumps and bruises along the way, but that’s where you will learn and grow.”

This could not be further from the truth. Thanks Sarah for not just the ladder but great words of wisdom. Thanks to Ellie who was ready on the other side to take pictures of the action. 😂

Counting Every Penny!

Counting Every Penny!

It’s pouring but we are soaring! 😂😂😂

As a child our family was always in great need and always on the receiving end financially. We were able to give in other ways but not financially. I grew up believing there would be a day when I could also give financially. Most of my adult life I have had that honor to use what God had blessed our little family with to love and help others in need. We have always had more than enough and finances were never an issue. Even if it wasn’t much, I learned I could always give something. Currently, we are in a season of counting every penny and selling everything!!! 😂😂😂 This season feels very different than how I felt when I was a kid. As a child having financial issues was scary and made me feel like I was less than or that something was wrong with me. Being older and more experienced I know how truly blessed we still are even when finances are extremely tight at the moment. Most everyone will go through a season of financial difficulty so we want to be open about it. It doesn’t make you bad or less than. It shouldn’t cause you shame. You should believe that moments of financial strain have the opportunity to grow your trust in God even more. In fact all difficult seasons have this opportunity. It’s not scary and I know this season is just that a season. Seasons come and go and we have the opportunity to learn and be joyful in the season we are in.

Our family has been in a transitioning season for a few months now. We were recently discussing our finances because at this moment every penny is being taken into consideration so we decided that we should contact the bank and ask for an extension on our car loan until the new year while Jessie gets acclimated to subbing at our local high-school. We have always paid on time and have often paid more then what was due.

We didn’t foresee it being an issue. Before we could even call the bank to talk about this the title to Jessie’s car came in the mail. He was confused because this only happens when you have finished paying the car off. Jessie looked online and it showed that as of a few days ago the remainder of our car loan had been paid in full. Someone has completely paid off our car which opens our budget by 300 each month. I am in awe of God and his faithfulness and how faithful His people are to be His hands and feet. God doesn’t owe us anything. He already did enough on the cross and yet in difficult moments He continues to show Himself faithful.

I didn’t realize how badly I needed the reminder that God always shows up.

While this was a huge financial burden lifted for our family it was an even bigger encouragement to keep trusting God and to keep giving even when it’s not in a financial way. We all have something to give; finances, time, kind words, talent and much more. While you might not be financially blessed in every season you are still blessed in an area that another is lacking. There is always someone out there in need. Find a need and be the hands and feet of Jesus. ❤️ In whatever way you are counting every penny, know that God can see your need and heaven is overflowing with pennies (blessings) to send down. Just wait with expectation and see what He can do!

Luke 6:28: “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

To the individual/s who anonymously paid the rest of our car loan off, thank you so much. You are a blessing and that blessing goes beyond financial.