When Markers Run Dry!
“O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you;
my whole body longs for you in this dry and weary land where there is no water.” Psalms 63:1 (NLT)
“Oh Great!” I hear from across the school age room. “The markers are all dried out.” A little girl headed to the trash to toss the dried out markers, but I jumped in and stopped her pulling some markers that had already made it into the trash can out. I explained to her that if we are patient we can put markers in water overnight and all the ink left throughout the marker will come down into the water turning it into water colors. “We can paint with it” she asked excited? As we filled cups with water and placed the dry markers in each more kids came over to watch as each cup began to turn a different color of blue, red, yellow, green and brown. The kids were amazed. They continued to watch the experiment growing more and more thrilled as the colors of the water grew more strong.
My family is on this amazing journey as Campus Pastors at Washington New Life. Even writing the words “Campus Pastors” feels surreal. Some days we feel on cloud nine that God has called us and other days we feel way over our head. However, we know that regardless of what each day brings we are right in the center of God’s purpose for our family. I came in excited but empty. I felt frustrated. Where is my place here? After having Ellie I struggled to find a balance between motherhood and servanthood. Something in my heart was changing. My desires were shifting and I had no idea how to respond to it. So I continued to serve in many different areas at Grace. (A great church family! If you live in the Dallas area check it out) I never felt like I was doing what God has called me to do. I struggled finding my place after becoming a mother and I was scared that struggle would follow me to Washington Illinois. “Something must be wrong with me” was a common thought. I showed up to Grace each week and I poured my heart into many areas but felt so dry doing so. There were so many times when I wanted to throw in the towel, sit on the couch and wait for God to tell me which card to play next but that didn’t feel right either. Honestly, that is the season at times. Dry! It doesn’t mean you give up it means you press on. You stay faithful and you never allow that inner voice to tell you that you have nothing left to give. You don’t allow yourself to believe that sitting on the sidelines is better than feeling dry serving.
If for a moment you believe that you have no value know that you are so valuable to Christ. Continue to show up! There is only one person who doesn’t want you to show up and he is not worth your time.
However, I do believe there are times when you should step back from serving and focus on God but only you and God can determine if that is the step you need to take. Our family is walking into a new season in life. We are dealing with things as a family and individually. I’m slowly finding my place at New Life. This season is pushing me toward God. The things He is asking of me are bigger than me. I often feel like I can’t do the things God has called me to do. Who am I kidding? I can’t. Not without Him but I have Jesus “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within me, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Philippians 1:6 (NLT) I wasted so many years believing these three lies…
I do not have what it takes.
I have no purpose.
I’m not worthy.
I’m done wasting time believing a lie that is not true. I hope you are done too! I’m excited for this new season in our life and I am scared out of my mind. I guess you can say my dry season is beginning to see some rain. The kind of rain that causes growth.
Maybe you are going through a similar season. Maybe you feel like the season you are in is dry. You might feel like what you have left is not enough. If you are patient God will pull the little you have left, the little you feel is not enough and turn it into something beautiful that will be used for Him.
“Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! for the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart” John 7:38 (NLT)
Just as a marker that is assumed dry can turn water to color God can take what you feel is dry and pour His water on it and suddenly you’re dry land will be a blessing for all to see.