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Dirty Feet!

Dirty Feet!

Have you ever washed your kids feet in the bathroom sink? Most nights I’m either wiping Ellie’s feet clean with a baby wipe or washing them in a bucket of warm soap and water on the bathroom floor. I mostly don’t mind. It gives me the opportunity to remind her that I will always love her dirty feet and all. Oh and just to clear one thing up Ellie does get baths too. However, even on bath nights she manages to get her feet dirty after. Her feet get so dirty because she likes to run around the house without socks and regardless of how clean my floors are, the bottom of her feet are covered in everything icky by 5 pm each day. The thought of walking around without my feet covered makes my skin crawl but to each his own.

I was looking at some newborn pictures that we had taken of Jay. His little feet were so tiny and I can only imagine how much I’ll be washing them as well in the next few years. While falling in love with his tiny feet pictures I was reminded of the evening Jay was born. That evening as I sat on the toilet trying to muster up the courage to pee the nurse knelt down beside me and washed the blood off my legs and feet. It was the most humbling experience. This nurse served me in the most vulnerable way with no benefit to her. I mean, sure she is paid to be a nurse and maybe washing the feet of her patients is in her job description but it would be pretty easy to skip over the feet washing part. I would have never known. I also would have never complained. I also can’t even remember her name and for that I am ashamed. That night I was left with one question on my heart. Are we willing to serve when there is no benefit to us?

Can you look at someone who has nothing to offer you and still serve them? I had nothing to offer my nurse at that moment. I couldn’t even get thank you out because I was so stunned and frankly trying really hard to pee. Going pee after delivery is one of the hardest things I have done.

Read John 13:1-17

I think about how dirty the disciples feet must have been to have walked the dirty street. Much more dirty then Ellies at the end of each day. They didn’t have shoes that protected their feet from the human waste, animal feces and other filth that covered the streets. If they wore anything it was a sandal that didn’t offer much protection. Yet God didn’t look at any of them and say your feet are too dirty for me to wash. He didn’t send them away. He washed their feet.

God’s love for us even in the midst of our sin was what I was reminded of as the nurse washed my feet. When I think of the way I have been served by some important people in my life I want to be that for others. It goes beyond doing kind acts although that is important too. It’s truly sacrificing your wants and needs so that you can love someone else. I’m sure Jesus could have been doing much more when He was washing His disciples feet. However, to Jesus He was doing what was important in that moment. I don’t know that I’ve ever served anyone on that level but It’s my desire to wash the feet of those around me in a figurative way of speaking. That is what Jesus did for each of us on the cross. Loving us so much that He took the pain of the cross so that we could be forgiven and have eternal life. He bore the cross we could never bare ourselves. He sacrificed His life so that we could have eternal life. We can never repay him and He knew that yet He still gave his life for each of us. Can we be more like Jesus this year? Can we wash more feet? Can we look past the dirt we see on the feet of others around us?

Jesus is that for each of us. We can run to him when we are dirty and broken. We can run to him with dirty feet.

“After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, “Do you understand what I was doing? You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you.” John 13: 12-15 NLT

Big Emotional Revenge!

The other day Jay pulled Ellie’s hair. She was very emotionally shaken by this. 😂She couldn’t seem to understand that Jay is only reaching for something to grab a hold of and isn’t intentionally trying to hurt her. We watched as she stood by Jay staring him down. The look on her face had us worried that she might be planning some sort of payback. I slowly stepped closer to them just in case revenge was underway. Ellie is pretty sweet (especially to Jay) but she’s also 4 so you just can’t be too careful. A sigh of relief was heard as she ran to her bedroom crying instead of doing the alternative. She felt better when we used our voices to pretend he was apologizing! Being a big sister is rough but I’m proud that Ellie was able to make the right choice even with the strong emotions she was feeling.

Ellie taught us an important life lesson. We all have strong feelings. Feelings that make us want to act in ways that normally we never would. Thinking before you act makes all the difference in these moments. We should all remember to think before we act this year.

“The wise are cautious and avoid danger; fools plunge ahead with reckless confidence. Short-tempered people do foolish things, and schemers are hated.” Proverbs 14:16-17 NLT

He Never Stops

He Never Stops!

The laundry never ends. I find myself doing several loads a day just to keep up. While Jessie’s mom was here she helped us get our house in order. She cleaned, sanitized, organized everything and never complained. One day I asked her how she does it? How do you keep this house so clean? I feel like I clean all the time but it never looks this good! I’m always behind. She said “I never stop!” She went on to explain that the house is going to get messy again so you always have to be cleaning! You have to get it before it gets you! This woke me up. I don’t know why it took me 33 years to grasp this concept but it did. My entire adult life I’ve been frustrated that the house never stays clean. I clean just for it to need to be cleaned again. It’s like I’ve been expecting it to magically never get dirty. Like if you clean it once you’re done for life, right? No! Wrong!! Very wrong!!!

My mother in law and her life lesson on the art of cleaning got me thinking about our relationship with Jesus. You never can stop. Never stop reading His word. Never stop worshiping Him. Never stop talking to Him. Never stop. The conversation you have with Jesus when you ask Him to come live in your heart is not the last conversation you should have with Him. It’s only the beginning of many conversations. We should never stop talking and listening to God.

To be quite honest for some of us 2020 felt like a never ending laundry pile. Like a dirty house, 2020 was one mess after another. One thing is true, life will never be perfect! The laundry of life will sometimes pile up. God never said it would be easy but when we spend time in His word and in worship and prayer He has a way of showing up and filling our hearts with peace because we ultimately know that He is in control. God has a way of making the never ending laundry pile seem less overwhelming when we chose to continue trusting in him.

Since the departure of my mother in law I have been on my game. Our house will never be on the mother in law level of clean. She is just that good. She has the touch I can only hope to have one day. Nevertheless, I have taken her advice and I clean constantly. I never stop. It doesn’t mean I don’t rest, it just means I’m always aware to clean before it gets out of control. I get it before it gets me. More importantly, I have to get with Jesus before life gets at me. This is a lesson I’m taking with me into 2021. Life really got at me in 2020. Let’s face it. Life got at all of us this past year. And rightfully so. However can we all agree that many of us spent more time complaining about 2020 then we spent talking to God about how we can overcome it. I love all the stories of individuals taking what life has handed them and making it work in their favor. I want to live like that. No matter what 2021 brings, allow God to work it in your favor. It’s true 2020 is a bad word. It’s a real bad word that has made me want to throw things at the wall, crawl into a ball and eat everyone’s candy. … BUT GOD!!! God is still and has always been alive in 2020. He is still working in each of our lives and will continue to work well into 2021 and on. There is something positive that we can take from 2020. Really sit down and think about something good from this past year. What is it for you? This year in 2021 let’s make it a priority to spend more time with God. No matter what 2021 brings let’s face it knowing God has a plan and is working even when we can’t see it we know He is at work and He never stops working in our life. God never stops loving us. He never stops rooting for us. He never stops defending us. He never stops showing up. Even in all the chaos of 2020 God has never stopped showing up and neither should we!

“You are the God of great wonders! You demonstrate your awesome power among the nations.” Psalms 77:14 NLT

I don’t want to leave the impression that I think it’s wrong to acknowledge our grief from this past year. We should grieve all the losses from this year. I just don’t want us to go into 2021 so defeated that we leave no room for God to work. There are amazing things that He has in store for us if we just keep trusting in the one who never stops working.

Daddy daughter date!

Jessie took Ellie on a daddy daughter date. Her request McDonald’s and stop for flowers for her. She’s been asking for daddy to buy her flowers for a while now. This cracks me up because I’m not a flower girl. 😂 He’s the sweetest. ❤️ Every little girl deserves a dad who takes her on a date.

I remember my first daddy daughter date. My dad let me skip school and he took me to work with him. I was 7 or 8. We didn’t have a lot of money to do much but on the way to the City of Houston where he worked we stoped at a gas station for a snack and drink. I still remember that I picked out Oreos, pop tarts and dr Pepper. I felt very special that day, getting to skip school and have one on one time with my dad. I clearly never forgot it and neither will Ellie forget the many dates she goes on with her daddy!

The Smell of Happy!

I’ve been on a decluttering spree! I counted my socks! 75 pairs!! 😳😳😳 Who needs 75 pairs of socks? No one!!! That’s who!! I’ve officially cut down 75% of my socks and put them in the donation bag. I only kept the ones that spoke to my soul! 😂😂 Looking at this pile of socks I am reminded of something a youth Pastor once said when I was in high school. “We have too much! We only need 7 pairs of socks but we have way more!” Yes! His lesson that night mentioned socks. He’s so right. We have too much. More importantly, we have so much to give. Growing up with very little I have the habit of hoarding. I struggle to let things go. Even the things I no longer use. When I was in Junior High someone gifted me a bath set. It smelt so good. I can still remember the smell. Happy! It smelled like “happy” smells. And it was pink. ALL OF IT! It was so pretty. I’m pretty sure the lotion had glitter mixed in as well. I never opened it! I never used it. Using it at the time felt like I was letting it go! It would be gone soon! I had never had something that smelt so good in my life up to that point and I didn’t want it to run out. I wanted to hold on to the smell of “happy” for as long as I could. I’m in a season of letting go of the things that could create “happy” for someone else! I still wish I would have used the bath set. However, when the memory of a similar “happy” smell moves through my nostrils I find myself wanting to create that same “happy” for others. We often complain we don’t have anything to give. I want to encourage you to open up your sock drawer. What is the sock drawer for you? In what area do you have more then enough? How can you create “happy” for others this season?

Miracles, Stars, Rainbows and Thankful Hearts!

Miracles, Stars, Rainbows and Thankful Hearts!

Thanksgiving week has snuck up on me but here we are! Jay will be 7 weeks this Wednesday and life has been so busy but so much better since we have brought him home. Some days all Jay wants is to be held and fed. At the same time, Ellie wants to show me every trick and tell me every story. All the while Jay is using his penis as a water gun to shoot pee across the room and squirting poop at my face (keeping it real y’all ) during EVERY diaper change. It can feel overwhelming at times. However, I was recently reminded how empty my arms once felt after our miscarriage. I was reminded how I cried cause all I wanted was to hold my baby (our star in heaven) who I should have continued to grow and eventually bring home. Then I was reminded of the crippling news from two doctors telling me that pregnancy was not probable… “but God” I prayed… “You can make a way!” God did! He gave us Ellie. She’s truly a miracle my doctor at the time told me not to get excited about. Yes! I walked in one month pregnant and he told me not to get excited. I walked back in at 2 months pregnant and he admitted he hadn’t seen a pregnancy happen for someone with my medical history but one other time in his 30 years. Ellie is a miracle that two doctors said may never be possible. To hold a baby who was never suppose to exist is the most beautiful feeling that I pray all get to experience. To hold a baby after a miscarriage is icing on the cake. As I was saying, I was reminded and suddenly nothing else in the world mattered but holding Jay, watching Ellie do the same jump for the 100th time, telling Ellie and Jay that I love them and thanking God for blessing me with both. I’m even thankful for the story of our little star in heaven. Even though my heart is still broken that our star is not here on earth I’m thankful that I know that once upon a time that star was growing inside of me. Motherhood is far from easy. Can I get an amen? It’s so challenging but it’s also an opportunity to thank God with the way I love my kids and point them to Him. I’m so thankful to be on this journey. I’m so thankful I serve a God who answers every prayer in His time and in His way. A God who is a God of miracles and rainbows and lets all the little stars sit in the palm of his hand. I serve a God who has a blessing for not only me but you. I’m so thankful!

How has God blessed you? What are you thankful for?

We all have a reason to say thanks. Even in 2020!

“I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart;

I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done.” Psalms 9:1 NLT

Digging!

“Search for the Lord and for his strength;

continually seek him.” 1 Chronicles 16:11 NLT

This past summer Ellie spent weeks digging and carving to find all the pieces of the dinosaur. Each day she would take time to carve and dig to find more fossils. She was very dedicated to this project. Watching her made me question how dedicated I am to spending time with Jesus. Am I daily digging into my relationship with Him? Am I as dedicated to spending time with Jesus as I am to watching the newest episode of This Is Us? If I’m being honest, not as much as I would like. And I can’t blame it on lack of time because there is plenty of my time I waste on Pinterest and social media. I want to do better and I pray if you are like me you will be encouraged to spend more time in your relationship with Jesus too. So, what is it for you? What wasted time could you make more significant by turning yourself away from it and toward Jesus?

The chaotic donkey in life!

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” Hebrews 4:16 NLT

Guess what?! This is real life right here. It doesn’t start off looking this way but ends up like this by the following morning. My favorite part of this picture is the donkey falling off the bed. 😂 Most days I feel like I’m the donkey falling off in life as a mother and wife. Right now diapers are everywhere clean and dirty. Life is unorganized and messy. Most photos I post there is a mess behind me. You read right, before I post a picture I make sure the back ground is clean but the truth is my house is chaotic! Life and exhaustion get in the way. However, as much as I hate the mess there is no where I’d rather be then right in the middle of it with my two babies and husband! We do lots of fun projects and science but we also watch a lot of TV. There were months during pregnancy when Ellie and I sat on the couch ALL DAY watching TV because I couldn’t function. We had to hire someone to help us get the house in order just so my mother in law could come and help me clean it before Jay arrived. I’m not proud of any of this but I won’t try and hide it either. It’s when we admit that we can’t do life alone that we can begin to move past our pride and accept the help offered. It’s just a season and I’m learning to be content in this season. No one has a picture perfect life. Remember that when you compare your life to the pictures you see on social media. We are all a perfect mess in need of Gods grace. Don’t ever forget that you are not alone in your struggles. To keep it short and simple: we all have moments when we feel we are like this toy donkey falling off the bed of life.

Keep knitting!

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 1:6

Jessie’s parents came to stay with us before Jay’s arrival. During their stay they brought out a yellow and blue hand knitted blanket that was Jessie’s as a baby. This blanket will forever hold a special place in our hearts. It was handmade by Jessie’s great grandma 34 years ago. A blanket that once kept Jessie warm is now 34 years later keeping Jay warm too.

Jessie’s great grandma, Rufina Natividad Rayos poured her heart and love into this blanket for Jessie unaware that 34 years later he would be laying Jay in it. I wonder if she prayed over it? Did she cry happy tears while knitting it? Did she dream of all that he would become when handing it to his parents? Rufina is no longer with us. She doesn’t get to see this picture or read this post BUT her legacy of love lives on and will continue to live on through the passing down of this blanket.

There will be so many moments in life when we pour our hearts and love into something that we may never see the full impact of. It might seem pointless or silly to continue on. We might want to give up and quit when it gets hard or when we feel we don’t have the time or energy to finish. Remember, Jesus has birthed in each of us a purpose. There is a specific reason that we were put on this earth. If we don’t give up, He will complete what He has started even if we never see the full impact. The love poured into this blanket by Jessie’s great grandmother will always remind me to never give up no matter how big or small the task at hand is. Keep pressing on. Keep knitting. You might just be knitting an impact that lasts well after your life here on earth is complete!