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We all need that God soil in our life, that soil that helps us rise up out of our shame and heartache and blossom into all He has planted us for!

I love synthetic flowers. Honestly, I love them because they never die. Flowers in general remind me that when placed in the right soil they can truly flourish. We all need that God soil in our life. That soil that helps us rise up out of our shame and heartache and blossom into all He has planted us for!

Warning ⚠️ this post could be triggering!

I wrote the poem that follows this 13 plus years ago after reaching an ultimate low in life. I was feeling defeated, lost, worthless, confused, exhausted but mostly unaware of my purpose. I was depressed, suffering from an eating disorder and marking my skin with blades. The anxiety I felt was consuming and paralyzing. I felt completely useless. I felt invisible in life. It was during this time I made the decision to end my life. I was done! Long story short I was taken to the hospital where I could be helped. It was during this time that I was forced to come to terms with the anxiety and depression that I felt was consuming me. I could begin to hear God speak to me so clearly. I was alone but safe in my hospital room, hiding under the sheets, crying and writing what I heard God speak. I didn’t even know God wanted to speak to someone like me. Honestly, at the time I didn’t understand the meaning in His words. They made no sense but I wrote! Looking back, I stand in awe of where God brought me from. I can see how His words in those painful moments were a glimpse of all the beauty that awaited even when I couldn’t see or feel it in that moment. I still fight anxiety. I still find myself depressed at times. However, with help I have learned how to handle my anxiety and depression in a healthy way. I can see how in my darkest hour God was still willing to pick me out of the seed packet and place me in the perfect spot to truly flourish in all He created me for. I don’t think the following words were just for me. I believe they were meant to be shared all along! There are many of you who are in a storm of your own. Your storm might look different. God wants to speak to you. Yes YOU! You who sit in your mess, covered in the sin of the world, angry at Him, misjudged by others, confused from the report from the doctor, scared of what tomorrow brings, unsure if you want to live another minute, filled with an overwhelming amount of anxiety, grief and depression! He wants to speak to your heart and fill it with a crazy amount of peace. A peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

A note from God!

___________

Your name

When you’re lost within confusion and held down by sorrow and doubt.

When you’re drowning in a river of heartache just remember I’ll be there to lead you out.

Soon the waters will hear my voice, the wind will calm at the sound of my call. The world will at once stand still allowing you to stand in awe.

You will climb the highest mountains, swim through the toughest waves.

You will find yourself in my presence, surrounded by my love, filled with my grace!

Do not run with every fear!

Do not drown in all your tears!

Do not be held down by sorrow and doubt!

I am still here!

Just call on my name.

I will lead you out!

If you think someone might be considering suicide, take the first step and #BeThe1To ask. Ask directly, “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”

Find out how you can save a life at

http://www.BeTheOneTo.com

If you are struggling call the lifeline at

1 800 273 TALK (8255)

THERE IS NO SHAME IN ASKING AND RECEIVING HELP!

Always remember that you are a beautiful flower planted by Jesus.

#suicidepreventionmonth

When you are three sharing is difficult! Ellie is on the struggle bus when it comes to sharing her toys. #onlychildproblems

Before her play date, I have her choose a bucket of toys from home to take and play with her friends. It’s my way of having her practice! This week she chose play dough. To my surprise she shared so well with her friends. Watching Ellie play so nicely reminds me how important my role is in helping her continue to grow and learn in life. I’m also reminded how I need Jesus EVERYDAY. Without me daily choosing to spend time with Him I cannot be all I’m called to be for Ellie!

Complicated Scissors in Life!

“Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” Proverbs 16:3

Ellie has been working on using scissors. Just the other day I went to show her how to hold the scissors to make cutting her paper more comfortable. She quickly pulled back saying “I got it!” Watching Ellie figure out how to use the scissors makes me think about God. Is He up in heaven laughing while he watches us try and navigate life? You’re right!! He’s most likely not laughing but I know He has to be amused. There are times when we should ask Him for help but instead we take matters into our own hands. Sound familiar?

Story Time:

When Jessie and I found out we were moving to Illinois the first thing I did was look up Primrose Schools. I had been working for Primrose for 8 years. I wanted to one day be a director of a Primrose. I just knew Primrose is where I belonged FOREVER even in Illinois. To my disbelief there is no Primrose close to Illinois. I couldn’t understand why God would change plans on me. I’ve been working so long to be a director of a Primrose and God calls my family to Illinois where there is no Primrose?!?! My heart was questioning God big time. I even at one point looked up to God and asked “What is wrong with you?” As if He was the problem! I knew God was calling our family here to Illinois but where did I belong in this great plan of His? I heard in my heart God say…

“Wait!” In so many words He told me I didn’t have to have it all figured out. He told me I could trust Him. Did I listen? No! Of course not! You should know by now that I have a mind of my own. I went to the best known preschool in Illinois and applied. I was doing all I could to make sure “the plan” would still happen. I got the job. I felt proud. I’ve got it all figured out or so I thought. I’m really laughing at myself as I look back. A month later we moved here and I started working full time immediately. The school is great! My coworkers were great. Yet my heart felt out of place. Long story short for the next few months I fought the misplacement of my heart. I fought this because I realized I had held the scissors of life the way I wanted, ignoring all the help offered and cut into His plan to make my own. I complicated what didn’t need to be complicated all because I wouldn’t listen to God. I tried so hard to make my heart fit in this job but my heart just wasn’t there. It’s funny because it all makes sense now as I sit here planning the next month of curriculum and scheduling volunteers as Kids Life Director at our Washington church. It actually makes me laugh. I would have never put myself in the shoes I’m in. I didn’t believe in myself enough. I’m still in awe of God! God knew! He knew what He was doing the entire time. Of course right?!?! He always knows! Director was always in His plan I just had to let go of how I envisioned Director fitting into my plan. He knew without Him I couldn’t have stepped out in faith as Kids Life Director. He knew I needed help with the scissors. It wasn’t until I put the scissors in His hand that I was able to see what He really wanted for me. It was only when I let Him help me with the scissors that I finally saw where my heart belongs.

BTW: one of my prayers before coming here was “Lord, make it so clear where I belong in Illinois. Make it impossible not to see.”

We’ve been here in Illinois for almost a year now and we have just recently found a new nursing home to fall in love with. (Washington Christian Village)

Last year was the first year we collected socks for a nursing home in Dallas Texas. With the support of friends and family Ellie was able to donate 140 pairs of socks. She and a friend had a blast handing the socks out. They even were able to sing Jesus Loves Me with the residents who joined in. Seriously! The sound of all the voices in one room singing such a simple song was beautiful. I had tears.

It’s September and it’s time to collect socks again. If you would like to donate socks we would greatly appreciate it. We are collecting long plain white men tube socks size 6-12.

The cold weather is coming quickly and socks are a top need by residents in a senior citizen home.

How can you help?

1. Donate a pack of long plain white men tube socks size 6-12.

*We chose to only collect men socks because they work best for men and women.

Last year we were so blessed to have friends and family from far away send packs of socks in the mail and through amazon. We really appreciate that commitment!

2. Pray that God does more than warm the feet of those who wear the socks but that God warms their hearts.

We are so excited to do something for our new community with Ellie! We thank you in advance for your support.

We will be collecting socks through September.

We pray you can be a part!

To read about how handing the socks out went click the link to last years blog…

https://shinehislight.blog/2018/08/31/sock-project/

Hands held high!

“But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” Psalms 56:3 NLT

Ellie is fearless and I love it! Don’t get me wrong! She has wisdom beyond her years. There is a huge difference between being scared of something and having the wisdom to know when something is not right and choosing to walk away. She knows what to say “no” to and what to steer clear of. Like the other day at the park as I watched her come running up to me holding a pill. She picked it up off the ground. I threw it away and told her how proud I was of her. She said “I didn’t eat it cause it’s not safe!” I was proud. More so, I was relieved as I thanked God for answering our prayers of filling her with wisdom. Ellie lives life with her hands in the air fearlessly ready to take on the world all the while listening to that still small voice in her heart that leads her. I pray she never stops listening to that voice. That voice is God. I’m so thankful for the gift God gave us the day we met her. She is Always teaching me a lesson in life. She is Always showing me how to love like Jesus. Most importantly, she is Always showing me how to live life with my hands held high not holding onto fear and trusting Jesus in everything.

A mic drop experiment!

We did an exciting experiment in kids life! (For pictures and more details on how to do the experiment follow my link in the comments). At the end of the experiment when you dip a q tip in dish soap and place in the center of the food color dots it causes a really neat ripple Explosion of color through the pan. After the experiment I asked the kids what they thought about the reaction? They described the experiment with words like…. “Cool, Awesome, Neat and Amazing!!!”

I went on to remind the class that when Jesus was seen performing miracles a lot of people watched in awe. For instance, when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead everyone stood in awe. They could not believe what they were seeing. They were amazed by the beauty in God’s work. Many thought His miracles were awesome, cool, amazing neat and so on. Guess what? Everyday Jesus is still performing miracles and doing awesome things in our life. He’s performing miracles more awesome then this experiment. I ended the lesson by asking the kids to tell me something amazing that they see God doing in their life. One little girl, our shy friend spoke up and said,

“Honestly! Everyday is like a miracle. It’s a blessing everyday to have my mom and dad with me!”

Mic drop!

Step by step milk, food color, dish soap reaction experiment!

Materials: Dish pan, Dish soap, half and half, Q tips, food color

Step one:

You will fill a pan evenly with half and half or milk.

Step Two!

Add four different colors of food color to the center of the pan.

Step three!

Dip a Q tip in dish soap and touch to the center of the food color drops.

Step four!

Watch the ripple of color and be amazed. The kids watched in amazement for a good ten minutes.

Step By Step ABC Handprint Book with pictures!

Ellie and I spent the summer learning about letters and their sounds by creating her very own Alphabet Handprint Book. Ellie is very proud to say that she has written her first book.

It really did take all summer to complete. However, she enjoyed every moment. She did great picking out a word that starts with each letter. Ellie especially enjoyed painting her hands a different color 26 times. After posting a video of Ellie reading her book on social media, I’ve had a few friends ask me about the process in making this book. With that said, I decided to put the information in an easy to follow step by step guide!

Step One:

The first thing we did was gather all of our materials. There is nothing more frustrating than being half way through a project and realizing you need to take a trip to the store. I’ve taken the liberty of preparing the list we used for you.

Materials: white copy paper, paint (washable is best), googly eyes, glue, binder, clear page protectors, permanent markers, paint brushes, Baby wipes to clean hands, Jar of water for rinsing brushes.

There might be a few items you decide to add to your list. I kinda wish we would have used glitter.

Step Two:

We started by making an alphabet list. We wrote each letter on a piece of paper and Ellie chose an animal, person, place or thing that began with each letter sound! Our list follows….

Apple

Bee

Crab

Dragon

Egg

Fire

Ghost

Heart

Ice cream

Jellyfish

Kite

Leaf

Monster

Ninja

Octopus

Pineapple

Queen

Rose

Sunshine

Tree

Umbrella

Volcano

Watermelon

X-ray

Yo-yo

Zebra

It was now time for the fun. We began painting Ellie’s hand and leaving her print in the character she chose on the paper. Depending on your child’s age, they might be able to help paint their own hand. Ellie painted her own hand and chose the place on the paper to place it each time. She loves helping! This step was the longest step. It took a good month to get her hand painted 26 times in 26 different ways. It was well worth it though.

Step Three:

After all 26 letters were complete we began to add more designs and googly eyes to our creations. It was also in this step that we wrote a sentence on each page. The sentence followed the same structure throughout the entire book that makes it easier for Ellie to read.

Ex. Mm is for monster.

I kinda wish I would have let Ellie write the letter on each page. It would have been good practice and possibly made the book feel even more her own.

Step Four: It’s game Time!

Before putting our pages in book form we played a game. We laid out all the pages in ABC order on the ground. I would hand Ellie a letter and together we would say it’s name then Ellie matched the letter card to the corresponding page.

Step Five:

Lastly, we put each page in its own page protector and placed it inside her binder. It was fun to read the book to her and then hear her read her book to us as well.

This project really does take awhile to complete. It is not a day project. If you plan on doing this with multiple kids in a school setting I would suggest that you pick a letter each week. By the end of the school year you would have finished the entire alphabet and the kids will have a fun memory to take home. This project is a fun learning tool that I believe is helping Ellie in learning the process of reading. Most importantly, it will be a memory to look on for years to come.

Stay tuned for our next book that is coming in October; My Pumpkin Counting Book!

In Kidslife this past weekend our friends planted grass seed and look what happened!!! Samson’s hair grew! We learned about the strength God have Samson in his hair. Samson went against God’s instruction and told Delilah about the strength his hair gave him. Delilah cut off his hair while he slept and when he woke up His strength was gone. Aren’t you glad God never says “I told you so!” I am. Samson’s hair grew back and God Gave Samson a second chance with new strength. However, Samson’s disobedience first caused him to be thrown in jail and laughed at. It wasn’t until Samson prayed to God, admitting his failure and asking for a second chance that God gave him his strength back. From the get go Samson should have stayed far away from Delilah but instead he kept entertaining her presence. There are many things we know we should stay away from but we continue to entertain them. They will get you in trouble. Samson was able to defeat the Philistines because of the strength God gave him. Sadly, when the temple came crashing down Samson was buried with it and he died! Samson went out as a hero! God is a God of 2nd chances but we have to be willing to ask God for help. More importantly, we should remember to listen to God’s instruction from the beginning to ultimately keep ourselves out of trouble.

A blessing in a cup of coffee!

“But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.” Romans 8:25 NLT

Four girls were waiting in line to get coffee. It was taking longer than it should and they seemed to be having problems with the register. Eventually one of the girls face grew frustrated and she walked away. Moments later the last three girls were told coffee is on the house. They waited, were patient and in return received a blessing FREE COFFEE!

Watching this take place made me question, how many blessings have I missed out on simply because I don’t want to wait? Today I was reminded that we often walk away from a blessing because we are in too much of a rush to wait patiently to receive His blessing!

Gods timing does not always match ours but He always shows up right on time. Don’t miss the blessings of God because you refuse to be patient. Don’t walk away frustrated, missing out on your blessing only because you just can’t wait. Be patient. Wait on Him! He always shows up!

Each colorful square on Joseph’s robe represents a question answered by each preschool friend. We read about Joseph’s Robe in The Beginners Bible and took turns answering questions after. As you answered a question about the Bible story you got to add a color to Joseph’s robe on the wall. Everyone participated and no one was left out of the fun because they could call on a friend for help if they did not know the answer. Isn’t that what Jesus wants us to do as believers? Call on Him when we need help? Jesus is our friend and He is always here to help. We are not going to know the answers to all the greatest questions in life but there is someone who does… Jesus. Call on Him He wants to help.

“Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live.” Psalm 116:2